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CSI: Naive Nevada

I guess CSI's writers were distracted for their season premiere. (I can understand, what with firing then unfiring cast members Jorja Fox and George Eads, then busying themselves scribbling pilots for next week's spinoff CSI: Joliet. Or whatever.) Because they still can't be bothered to look at a friggin' map of Nevada when they send their intrepid Vegas-based forensic gumshoes off into the brush to check out a body found by some gun-shooting teenagers. Perhaps it was punishment over salary disputes, but George and Jorja got sent off to "Groom Lake Road," near "Ely."

No, please, go ahead. Pull the other one.

Area 51 is in Groom Lake (a euphemism—it's dry), and there is a Groom Lake Road, just past Horney's Rest Stop. You know, about 100 miles from Vegas as the alien space saucer flies. It's in Lincoln County, not Vegas's Clark County, so I'd bet there are jurisdictional issues. And when you reach the point where there are signs suitable for teenage target practice, there are surveillance cameras and camouflaged guards who'd probably only hesitate a few moments before ventilating drunk, cap-busting teenagers. I can see how these things could interfere with the plot. But Ely? Friggin' Ely? Ely's about 250 road miles north of Vegas, and they ain't all pretty road miles neither.

I suppose I should console myself that Ely is roughly a 45 percent improvement over last season's Jackpot Fiasco, given the real Jackpot is more than 450 miles from Vegas. But what's next—maybe Grissom and Willows take the commuter rail to Winnemucca for lunch?

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