Fall '99: "Popular"

Especially for my best friend Willie Paine.

He had a thing for Kristin big time . He was senior class president, a straight-A student, he organized the senior prom, founded several clubs, was funny and charming with plenty of spunk. He had everything going for him, and had plenty of plunk. The only thing he could never have was Kristin Jordahl.

Unfortunately for my poor bastard of a friend, his brother would.

Steve "The Perv" Paine never had trouble with girls in high school. He was athletic, charming, good-looking, and performed in every play our performing arts program put on. He was also a bit of a himbo -- narcissistic, somewhat boorish, and a habitual womanizer.

It killed Willie that Kristin ended up with his brother. I remember them getting into several fights over the course of our senior year. Over stupid things. But I suspect most of those fights were really about Ms. Jordahl.

The point to all of this reminiscing? Proof to my theory that life in high school is nothing more than a third-rate soap opera-- much like the WB's new show Popular.

The show is about two high school girls, one who is "in" (Leslie Bibb) and one who is "out" (Carly Pope), who end up being step-sisters. The whole experience is like watching a live-action version of an Archie comic book-- except the dialogue is ten times more stilted, the plots ten times more predictable, and characters ten times flatter. And did I mention that the acting sucks?

Yeah, I remember high school. And as bad as those four years were, it was nothing compared to sitting through an hour of Popular.