We watch... so you don't have to.
Save Everything!
We have recently received a letter from a devoted television watcher whose efforts dwarf any others we've seen.
We were overwhelmed with admiration for his noble crusade, and so we reprint his letter, in its entirety, without our usual snide commentary.
We hope his words move you as they moved us.
DO NOT DELETE THIS!!! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!! DO NOT DELETE!!!
To Whom IT May Concern:
The television dsoesn't care about NORMAL PEOPLE. Everytime a new show comes on that's good, they immediately cancel it. THEY DON"T CARE IF PEOPLE LIKE IT!!! If people got involved. ALL THEY CARE ABOUT ARE RATINGS!!!! Well no more! Its time to make a stand. THat's why I'm taking the time to write as many people as possible about TV's OUTRAGES!!! I, Randy Ackerman, will save everything on TV!!!! But in order for me to do it I need your help. E-MAIL THIS LETTER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIONS!!!! SEND THIS TO ALL OF YOUR COW-WORKERS!!! LET THEM KNOW WHAT HOLLYWEIRD IS UP TO!!!!
Did you hear? Those bozos in HOLLYWEIRD did it again! Not only did UPN they cancell the season finale to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" but they cancelled SENTINEL!!! AGAIN!!!! Hello?? Is anyone in HOLLYWEIRD at home??? THE SENTINEL is but the MOST IMPORTANT TELEVISION SHOW IN HISTORY!!! All of my shut-in housewife freinds love the show! Listen to what my freind Ruby from alt.tv.sentinel says: "Did you know if Sentinel is cancelled there wont be a show about a cop with highened senses anywhere on the teevee? What are they thinking?!!!!!!" BASTARDS!!! Don't let the WB break the hearts of agoraphobics! Write them a letter! AND MAKE SURE TO USE SNAIL MAIL!!! And don't be like those poor bastards who tried to save "CUPID"!!! They send Valentines, candies-- just send a leter, anything else makes you look CRAZY!!!!! E-MAIL THIS ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIONS!!!! DON"T LET HOLLYWEIRD GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!!
How about this? THat bozo, Kevin Williamson, the producer of "Dawson's Creek" is trying to get rid of the SINGING FROG!!! The singing frog is hilarious! How dare he? First make's a deal that the frog can't sing or move whever he appears on Dawson's Creek, now he is negotiating have the WB cancel it's own symbol. THAT BASTARD ALREADY FORCED THE NETWORK TO GET RID OF NIKKI COX. Because he hates her. The whole point of the SINGING FROG is THAT HE"S A SINGING FROG!! How will I know when a COMMERCIAL IS COMING ON? When the frog sings!!! DON"T KEVIN WILLIAMSON GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!! WRITE UPN AND TELL THEM TO KEEP THE SINGING FROG!!! AND MAKE SURE TELL THEM THAT JENNIFER IS A MAJOR SLUT AND THEY SHOULD FORCE KEVIN WILLIAMSON TO REMVOED HER FROM THE CAST OF DAWSON"S CREEK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!!! And rember, make sure to send it SNAIL MAIL. Make your letter count!!!
A friend of mine on alt.nbc.er wrote me and said what happened to bob, the russian girl who was a janitor but was actually a doctor? I DON"T KNOW, I SAID, SHE JUST DISAPPEARED! WHAT THE HELL???!!! I mean they do this whole thing where she saves somebody and then we never find out if she becomes an AMERICAN DOCTOR! Hello? DId I miss a memo? HOLLYWEIRD doesn't have the wherewithall to finish minor story arcs? I mean they get rid of SHERRY STRINGFELD and GEORGE CLOONY and they then they give us stuff about some afrcian guy being tortured??? Haven't they herd the voice of AMERICA? We don't care about the black characters on ER!!!! I mean I'm not prejudiced or anything, but they just aren't that interestisng. But Bob on the other hand was a great character. Join alt.tv.er's campaign: "What About Bob?" and let's bring her back!! E-MAIL THIS ALL OF YOUR FRIEND'S AND RELATIONS!!!! MAKE THOSE LAZY HOLLYWEIRD WRITERS FINISH WHAT THEY STARTED!
"The Coalition to Restore the Original Theme Song to Cheers Reruns" recently educated me about a TERRIBLE INJUSTICE. Did you know that reruns of Cheers don't use the original theme song we know and love? What used to happen is, when a show was syndicated and it was still running on a network they'd change the theme for the syndicqated version so us NORMAL PEOPLE wouldn't get all confused! Of course CHEERS isn't on NBC anymore. BUT DO THEY RESTORE THE ORIGINAL THEME? NOOOO!!! ALL THEY GIVE US IS A BASTARDIZED THEME THAT IS ALL CHORUS. No verse! NO BUILDUP!! MORONS! DON'T THEY KNOW THAT THE CHEERS THEME IS A CLASSIC? Let the bozos at Paramount know that they can't get away with this!!! Demand that they bring back the original theme! Check out the CROTSCR website: www.CROTSCR.com. It's graet! Sign their petition! E-MAIL THIS ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATION'S!!!!
I don't know about you, but I'm sick of all these netowrk logos cluttering up my teevee viewing experice. WHY CANT I WATCH "THE X-FILES" WITHOUT THE STUPID FOX LOGO MUCKING EVERYTHING UP. I can't concentrate! And the stupid PAX netowrk! I mean at least the other network's make ther logos subtly translucent! Have you seen the PAX logo? The logo is a LOUD red white and blue! I can't watch reruns of TOUCH BY AN ANGEL (a graet show btw) without having EPILECTIC SEIZURES!!! PAX!! Tone it down!! My eyeballs are bursting. My friends at the Soceity for the Logo Free T.V. are fighting the LOGO WAR: "We, the Society for a Logo Free TV, believe that the intrusion of network logos on our favorite television programs has gotten completely out of control! Have the Network execs decided we are so stupid that we need to be continually told what channel we are watching?" JOIN UP!!! They have a grate webiste: http://colossus.net/nologo.html. E-MAIL THIS ALL OF YOUR FRIEND'S AND RELATION'S!!!! THIS IS IMPORTANT.
And in a related topic have tried reading the credits for your favorite show lately? no. BECAUSE MOST LIKELY YOU CAN"T!!! The good old days of being able to find out who works for say a show like BOY MEET'S WORLD are long over. Especially now that netowrks cramming the credits into a tiny column on the right side of the screen just so they can have MORE ROOM to promote their new MINI SERIES "NAPOLEON STARRING WILLIAM SHANTER!!!! It sick! I mean the credits are so small and go bye so fast YOU CAN'T EVEN READ THEM!!! People who work on those shows are getting SHAFTED! Some minded feel the same way. Stop Stealing the Credits is a letter campaign started by The Federation of Television Workers and the Writers Guild to get credits a proper treatment. LET"S FIGHT HOLLYWEIRD ON THIS!!! You can sigh an E-petition at www.Stop Sealing the Credits.org. MAKE YOUR VOICE HERD!!!!
Remeber, its up to us, if we're going to save _everything_ on television, Because HOLLYWIERD doesn"t care about DECENT NORMAL PEOPLE. IF you live in AMERCIA"S HEARTLAND they DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU!!! And GOD HELP YOU if you live somewhere like IDAHO!!!! MAKE YOUR VOICE HERD!! E-MAIL THIS ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIONS!!!!
GOD BLESS,
RANDY ACKERMAN
Keep up the GREAT work! Visit my site!!!
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Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 22:41:33 -0500
From: SUPERGENIUS <LsWq1@aol.com>
Subject: SAVE EVERYTHING!!!!!!
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Additional contributions to this article by: James Collier.
